Something I talk about with many of you gorgeous Mum’s out there is prioritising your self-care, for many, I understand, the beginning of this conversation puts a barrier up – ‘how can I possible carve time in my day for me and me alone? I don’t have enough time in the day as it is!’
‘Mum guilt’ is also very, very real – that feeling of guilt or shame when lovely ladies feel like they aren’t living up to expectations in their role as a parent, taking time away from the children is often a contributor to that if we don’t get our mindsets right.
So, despite not being a Mum myself at this point in my life, there are a few things that have come up during my work that might just help you if this is something that you struggle with, because that over-whelming to-do list will not get smaller if you keep fighting fires. If we can prioritise some time for you leaving you space to feel more energised and enjoy the gorgeous family around you, your clean home, your career and your social life, then I promise you, everyone is happier – your children and your partner included, because they are getting a happier Mum to spend time with!!
Now it’s worth saying here to begin that not all of these things will work well for you, pick and choose and adapt and just try things out as you wish.
Let’s start with mornings, I know they can be a challenge, especially in the winter. I also know that sleep is oh so precious but could you perhaps carve some time, it doesn’t have to be long, 10 minutes is better than no minutes, in the morning before everyone else wakes up to spend a few minutes making yourself feel lovely? It might include a quick yoga flow, some skincare, 5 minutes with a cuppa and a book, anything, just you and the quiet morning. I promise if you can get it in, that positive start to the day will be glorious and something you come to love and savour.
Meal prepping for yourself can be huge. If you get the chance to make a meal towards the start of the week, just double, triple or quadruple up some portions so that when life gets hectic and you’re getting to 3pm realising you haven’t yet eaten, you have something quick and easy to draw upon. Eating well rather than opting for grab and go options more frequently will be a game changer for your energy, and your health both long and short term.
I know just now you are using nap time or school time to do chores, and they NEVER get fully done, right?! If you took just 10 minutes at the start of that block of time to do something lovely for you – maybe just some short and simple breathing exercises to bring your heightened energy from your central nervous system down, I PROMISE you, you will more productive for it and you will get just the same amount of work in that you ordinarily do, maybe even more.
Remember that it’s okay to ask for help – you don’t have to do everything alone. There is a whole team of people around you that want you to ask for help, I know sometimes it feels easier not to and just ‘get on with it’ yourself but this is doing nothing for your physical and mental health. In the long run, you will thank me. Perhaps your partner, parents, or even the kids could muck in to help you get some things done.
Now speaking of getting others involved, let’s think of some ways we can nurture our physical and mental health that we can get others involved in. A social meeting with a friend for example, instead of a sit-down coffee, maybe we could get takeaway and go for a walk getting in some all-important physical activity for you. Maybe you could all do a family workout on YouTube at home, animal yoga (yep it’s a thing) is a really fun one to get kids involved in! Perhaps you could unwind and have some down time all together, that might involve a film night at home so we get both the quality time and the relaxation or something crafty you can all do that will take out of your head, so to speak, allowing you to forget that to-do list again.
Another way I really like to play into my personal self-care routine when I’m busy is to make the menial tasks seem lovely. Let’s say you have to check and deal with work emails for an hour, you might not get chance to sit down for the rest of the day so let’s savour and cherish that time. Get yourself a cup of your favourite coffee, find a cosy spot and make those tasks that you usually fly into and just ‘get done’, enjoyable. Perhaps you are always alone when you’re cooking, you could pop some headphones in and listen to a fun podcast or your favourite album and have a boogie – there’s power in dancing!
Lastly, fresh air! Now I’m a little biased on this one because I cannot go even a few hours without some natural daylight on my skin and some fresh air in my lungs but it’s SO energising, especially in the mornings or if you have spent all day inside, going outside can change your energy in a moment.
I know that, as a Mum, literally all you think about is how you’re going to get everything done and maximise your time, looking after you comes last BUT it is essential that you work on carving some time for your health – otherwise somewhere further down the line you will become burned out, stressed and hating on yourself and ultimately have to take longer, forced rest which isn’t fun for anyone, least of all you and your family that need you.
Perhaps a little bit more balance (sorry to overuse that buzz word) will give you more peace AND more productivity. Invest in you and I promise you will be better equipped to handle the rest of what life throws at you.
You know where I am if you have any questions at all or even just a little chat and offload. Always here, just a message or an email away.
Peace and love, A x
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